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Navigating the world of TikTok momming is about as difficult as figuring out why my 18 month old just handed me a plastic banana and then immediately began crying that I took her plastic banana. Which is why I do not have a TikTok and why I will no longer take plastic fruit from my daughter. However the lifestyle and language of the addictive online platform is inescapable, even in IRL, and I have recently learned that I am a mix of a Silky and Crunchy Mom, better known as a Scrunchy Mom.
Scrunchy moms live in the middle of two very different worlds; we find ourselves not crunchy enough to dress our children in only sustainable linens, grind our own grains, and demonize screen time but not silky enough to own a Stanley, use cake-pops as a bargaining tool, or have a fully charged tablet with kids youtube queued up at all times. I, for instance, make my own bread, grow my own vegetables, can my own jams and pickles, and spend as much time outside with my daughter as possible picking flowers, eating dirt, and letting her explore our beautiful Western North Carolina property with our dog Charlie by her side. I, however, also let her eat popsicles when she refuses to eat the healthy balanced dinner I make, and I will hand her whatever she wants in the middle of a tantrum as long as it’s not sharp, hot, or poisonous. Including but not limited to hair brushes, make up brushes, empty coffee containers, spoons, dead flowers, dog toys, and my apple watch. Also, Ms. Rachel is on our TV from sunup to sundown and I will lay my life down for that woman.
This conversation is not about good moms vs. bad moms, it’s about comparisons and boundaries. I thought my scrunchy life was disconnected and authentic and then saw my IG For You Page flooded with women in neutral colored aprons making their own cheese, walking barefoot in fields of daisies, and talking about the dangers of burning scented candles in your home. I am still comparing myself to a perfectly curated, edited, and unrealistic version of motherhood, even if it’s being touted as healthy and natural.
Do what's best for you and your family, and never feel like you have to justify your choices. If you need to give your kid a tablet to have a peaceful dinner do it, if you want to make your own laundry detergent because you’re concerned about harsh chemicals do it. If you want to buy a crisp apple scented candle from Walmart so your house doesn’t smell like wet dog, crushed goldfish crackers, and dirty diapers BURN IT BABY. We are all doing what we think is best, and if you’re reading blogs like this you’re obviously open to change and suggestions. So silk, crunch, and scrunch your kids however you think is best and don’t let TikTok make you think any differently.
-Tori Doyle
